Time

… I’ve been passing time watching movies and i have not blogged for shitz! Hahahaha

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Choose a Guy Who…

… knows how to handle your brand of crazy.

I don’t consider myself as a drama queen or a high maintenance girlfriend. Give me food and sleep as well as a couple of good movies, it’s the date of the century. I don’t ask for flowers on special occasions but I will probably demand a handwritten love letter every now and then.

However, there are certain moments when my kind of drama acts up. I get easily irritated about the smallest of things. I panic and worry easily that I end up in fits of tears and have an episode with a gazillion mood swings per second. Let us not add the ballistic-fest that happens during PMS. So all in all, let me just tell you that I can be a pretty difficult girlfriend to take care of at certain times. I’m an artist; a musician- we’re sort of wired that way.

This is why I come to appreciate my boyfriend more and more with every episode. Yes, he loses his cool and he raises his voice a bit but, he always finds a way to get past the drama. Instead of screaming at me or adding fuel to the fire, he leaves the room (much to my dismay) to cool his own temper down. He does not come near me until he knows he can be more patient and understanding. Of course, even when he walks out on me, he stays within shouting distance in case I need him or there’s an emergency (like if I need tissue paper for my clogged nose from all that crying…) Sometimes, he would just look at me with this helpless look and it makes me feel bad- which in turn, makes me cry even more.

What can I say? I’m a piece of work when it comes to being weird- emotionally.

My point?

1.) Girls will always have dramatic episodes even when they claim that they don’t have any. It’s inevitable. It’s in the genetic make up of a female. Women know this. Real men accept this and know how to ride through each episode to make sure their woman is all right.

2.) If a man truly loves and cares for you, it would not matter to him if you look like a wreck or a constant stream of tears and snot whenever you feel depressed, down or you are just suffering from PMS- He will stay and take your crazy in stride. He will get you water because you’re dehydrated from all those tears you shed. He will ask you what you want to eat or buys you all the food he could think of just in case the dramatics are caused by hunger. He will not scream at you or call you names. Instead, he will hug you and soothe you while telling you over and over how much he loves you.

3.) If you happen to have a guy who can be almost as patient as a saint; apologizes to you even when the whole thing is your fault; woos to become less of a bitch as well as insist on cuddling you when you are so close to scratching his facePLEASE TAKE CARE OF HIM AND LOVE HIM FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!

A bientôt!

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Random #1

Have you ever felt that your days on earth are slowly dwindling down? Funny because I have always been having this strange notions that my mortality is about to reach zero soon. I’m not trying to be intentionally morbid- just honest.

I got into an accident and I was waiting for that epiphany to come however, it has not. I am grateful that I’m not disabled, only limited. But i’m not going to lie and say I wasn’t depressed about it. I still am but I am fighting everyday.

10 q&a bottles of beer on the wall…

In the year 2012, my older blog had its busiest traffic when I entered a certain blogger’s 30 day blogging challenge. It was fantastic because not only was I getting interactions through my blog posts but I was also given a steady stream of stuff to write about. I managed to finish the full month challenge where in at the end, I had to write a letter to my old teenager self. It was truly a fun experience that I miss.

So, I decided to visit that blogger’s site once more, hoping that there was another 30 Day Blogging Challenge. Unfortunately, I could not find one (or maybe I did not read enough entries to have found it…) but I came across a blog post of his which was called Blog Memes.

I decided to go ahead and borrow some of the interesting questions it provided and answer them here on my blog. I don’t have many followers and I rarely interact with those who like my posts or follow my blog so I cannot really tag people to copy the questions and answer it themselves. But, I have a few people in mind and hopefully, after I’m done, they too can do this fun activity.

A great way to get to know one another and at the same time, one’s self!

Here are the random questions that I have selected to answer from a blog post.

1.) If you were offered the chance to be a cooking star on a Food Network show, which of these three would you choose for a mentor: Bobby Flay, Giada de Laurentis or Alton Brown?

I would definitely choose Bobby Flay as my mentor. First, he’s pretty cute although, I think Alton Brown’s witty and comedic approach to food is more interesting. Second, Flay’s style of cooking is more like mine. I like creating sauces for barbecue and creating different new flavors on traditional dishes. Giada is a pretty darn good cook as well but I guess I’m more comfortable having small talk with Bobby Flay.

2.) When you were a child what was the hardest or scariest thing in the world (i.e. movie, book, chore, etc.) to you that as an adult is neither hard nor scary?

I would have to say, speaking in front of a crowd and maybe, singing. I was a very bashful, insecure and klutzy kid. I rarely spoke and I was always shy to ask for anything or even speak up. I loved to sing but I was too bashful to go in front of people and perform. Even when I was in high school and college, I often shied away from the stage. I was also very quiet and reserved. But now, after joining a group and having grown up (at least, a bit..heehee) I realized that singing came naturally for me and although it can be daunting, performing isn’t all that hard or scary as long as you put your heart and soul into it. As per speaking out, I think I have gained too much confidence in that aspect. I bet some people would pay me to stop voicing out my opinions as well as impede my leadership qualities. I guess, training and gaining a whole new perspective of who I am and what I can really do gave me enough courage to overcome the scariest and hardest thing in my childhood world.

3.)What would you take to a deserted island?

I am not sure if this has limitations but I think it’s does not so… I will take my whole family and friends. I will bring more than a year’s worth of drinks, food, toiletries, shelter items and other essentials that we all can use without having to worry of it running out before our scheduled departure from a deserted island. I will bring solar batteries and solar powered gadgets. I would bring tools as well in case we need to build a bathroom…

4.) If you could get into the mind  of anyone (living or dead) and read all their thoughts, whose mind would you choose to raid?

This is a tough one to answer. Dead, I would probably choose Ferdinand Marcos because I want to know what he was really thinking and how he came to the decision of Martial Law. Why he has allowed such abuse to human rights as well as what he truly had envisioned for the country. I would also want to know of his grand plans to better our country and society and maybe use it to help the current government. It would also be cool to get the location of his hidden treasures and pillage! HAHAH

As for the living, there are just too many to choose from. I want to get into JK Rowling’s thoughts and try to see if she’s been thinking about what is happening with Harry Potter’s current life. I want to read George’s thoughts on how Game of Thrones ends (that way I get to know all the characters who are going to get killed!) I want to get into the mind of the Pope, Putin, Gordon Ramsay, Johnny Depp, Tim Burton, Helena B Carter etc… Yeah, yeah, I’m a nosy lady!

5.) What one piece of movie memorabilia from which movie would you love to own?

Obi Wan’s Light Saber. But, I just can’t choose one! I want the ring they used in LOTR. I want all of Harry Potter’s wands. I want Grease Lightning- yes, the car that flies… LOL I want other Star Wars memorabilia as well as the ruby slippers from Wizard of Oz. Oh, I want that necklace from the Titanic (if only it was a real diamond!) Too many to mention actually!

6.) If literary characters were real and you could interview any one of them, who would it be and what’s the first question you would ask?

Mr. Darcy? I would ask him to leave Elizabeth Bennet and marry me! HAHAHA! I would probably want Gandalf to be alive or Professor Dumbledore so that they can teach me how to do spells and stuff. I know, It’s shallow but I don’t really want it to be serious. I want to have fun!

7.) Who is someone from your past that you are sorry you lost track of?

Hmmm… I guess some of my good friends in High School and College. It’s not that I’ve lost track of them… we just all drifted apart and do not talk the way we used to back in the days.

8.) What aspect/trait about your personality are you most sensitive about (as in, you wouldn’t stand anyone criticizing about this one aspect)?

I guess the way I direct or train my performers. I can be pretty strict and almost a perfectionist. I know I can get a bit harsh but when it comes to performing, it is necessary. It’s not because I like having a power trip or that I am naturally mean, it’s just the way I need to get things done. But, I am not totally closed-minded when it comes to being criticized in anything that I do as long as it’s constructive. If a person is just being an ass, then there will be war and blood spilled! :3

9.) What is your most quirky habits?

I’m not really sure. I guess when it’s just me and my boyfriend, I tend to act like a baby with matching baby voice. I also get easily teary eyed when it comes to almost anything that evokes emotions. I don’t know if these are quirky habits. Oh- I tend to pick my nose and fart a lot when my boyfriend’s watching… LOL

10.) If you could compare yourself to anything in the universe, what would you compare yourself to? Why? (For instance, someone might choose the Phoenix because it’s reborn from its ashes, Someone who derives strength from pain and failures and tries to rise above them all might select the Phoenix.)

I guess I would liken myself to the little engine who could. Believe it or not, I was a very insecure child and even when I grew up, people (including my family) really thought that I would amount to nothing out of the ordinary. I was an ugly duckling. I was always thought to be stupid, careless and crazy. I have felt it so much growing up that I truly believed I was just plain, simple and good for nothing. Maybe that was why I did not really aim to excel in school (even when I knew I could be in honor’s class) or why I did not get a medical course in college or went into law. No one actually told me they believed that I could be anything I wanted or do anything that I can dream of. But guess what? I might have realized my potential or understood my true calling too late but I managed to chug through and do amazing stuff. Perhaps monetary wise, I’m not going to be as rich as a lawyer or doctor or a famous singer but I know I have touched lives and made a difference in a lot of kids who found a home in theater and performing with Songspell.

So there! Those are the 10 questions that you might want to answer and share with your readers. If you decide to participate, please comment  and leave your blog site and I’ll make sure to visit, read and comment on your answers as well.

Maybe you might want to start your own 10 q&a bottles of beer on the wall or start a 30 Day Blogging Challenge. I’ll try to gather those older posts and share it so that you all can get the idea. Tag/Include me!

Since this blog is fairly new, I’m tagging FB friends who I think are bloggers.

We Are Moot

I have been in only a few relationships. Really, I can count them with one hand. Most of them were superficial, flimsy, I-was-in-a-stupid-bubble and naive type of romance. I was used and emotionally abused. I have been stupid and deliberately blind all for the sake of love and what I thought it should entail. True enough, I’ve pounded my head and crushed my heart with the same old stupid rock trying to hold on to a fantasy that I have built for myself. It took a while to realize but eventually, I woke up! LOL

Precocious Madness

You move a little and my world tilts.

It drops down into a spiral.

I hold my hand, palm upward.

I try to catch you bit by bit.

Still, you slip away.

You slip away.

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Here I blog again…

I have a lot of WordPress blog sites. Well, at least five or six. I have this habit of wanting to create a new blog and start fresh but end up just leaving it to fend for itself or die. Maybe this is how my obsession for collecting notebooks and not really using them manifests itself unto the internet world. Whatever it is, it has not ceased.

There have been countless times when I would have this really long soliloquy in my head and my fingers would itch to go blog about it. Unfortunately, laziness or procrastination wins over. The monologue falls on deaf ears and is shelved into the rarely visited archives of my brain. Worse, it is totally forgotten.

But then again, I also end up not blogging because I don’t think I have anything interesting to share. As much as I wish that all my blog entries would be intriguing, beguiling, witty and profound- erm… close but no cigar! Maybe I just thought someone was up there (pointing to my head) being creative when it truth there was no one. Oh, did I mention that I am not particular about grammar and rules when I’m blogging.

(But really, it’s a personal journal/blog- not a thesis.. YES! THIS HELPS ME SLEEP AT NIGHT EVEN WHEN GRAMMAR PROFICIENT PEOPLE ARE READING AND CRINGING AT MY MISTAKES! HeHeHe)

So, I forego the urge to blog.

Until I remind myself that blogging does not necessarily mean writing about stuff that interests other people or compels the online world to read my thoughts (or lack of it…) Blogging is just something I use to express and unload thoughts and feelings. I don’t mind sharing it with people if they happen to stumble upon it but I rarely share it on social networking sites as a way of promoting my online journal. Friends may have a peek but I don’t blackmail them to do so.

Some might say that I blog because I like hearing myself talk. Maybe. But let me just tell you, profound and cathartic conversations are usually born from dialogues with the self. Soliloquies can draw poison from wounds without having to get injected by antidotes or an anti-tetanus shot.

I guess this is one of the reasons why I create new blogs and try to start over. Perhaps deep down, I am still trying to search for that one blog site that can be more than just a passing craze. Maybe this one is it- or not…

Nevertheless, I shall do my best to be more religious with my entries for this blog. Ugh. No promises though.

If you happen to stumble upon this blog entry and you want to check out my past blogs, I have links on the MENU bar (upper right corner) or you can just click any of these:

PSY-KOI-LOGY

Precocious Madness (Poetry Collection)

The Misadventures of Dead Bunny Stew (Poetry)

A Bientôt!